Judging others equals condemning yourself. Why insist?
In the moment we developed the consciousness to express our thoughts, an ability came to us as a package. The ability to judge.
We ran to our parents, start practicing how to judge. We blamed the kid next door, our brothers and sister on treating us badly, stealing our toys and eating our food. Having the ability to judge is very important for survival. It protects us from things attacking us, helps us to express our emotions at the same time allows us to set clear boundaries on what we want and do not want in life.
However, be careful on how to handle judgements in life correctly. Otherwise, it can turn into a disaster and have the potential to come back enormously to beat your life down.
Judgement is a never ending tornado
When we judge, normally we have been irritated by someone or some situations that we cannot tolerate with. We start feeling things become ridiculous, non sense and start entering the mode of angriness and acting like that judge sitting in the court.
Did you notice how the judge position is like in the court? He is higher than everyone else, with an angle looking down on people he sees. When we put ourselves in this position. We position ourselves at the higher ground and sending the world a message that “I am higher than you”, “I am more intelligent, experienced and profound”, and most importantly “I am right and you are wrong”.
We are sending the energy out that we are unable to acknowledge life’s insecurities and limitations which we only see others as the cause. This attracts and brings similar circumstances back again and again give you the same uncomfortable feeling. It is like a tornado happening inside your heart, and it would only come back constantly and vigorously. Until one day, you realise you are not attacking others but only yourself.
You are who you judge
Let’s do a test. Point your finger in front and act like you are judging someone. Did you realise when you are finger pointing at others, 3 fingers are literally pointing at yourself?
When we judge, subconsciously we are projecting the part of emotions that have never been accepted by ourselves inside us onto others. Hatred, anger, shame, frustration, jealousy, anxiety, disappointment, rejection... you might think these are feelings that person or situation irritating you right now. The truth is they are all complex layers of emotions inside us coming back again in another time, form and situations to help us see and heal.
Therefore, when you judging others next time. Bare in mind, something is happening and this is only about you but not others. Take a deep breath and stop everything. Have the courage to release your armor, be curious to unwrap that layer of judgement and see beyond the most important message revealing to you.
Turn judgement into a gift
Instead of reacting with past consciousness again to repeat the same life pattern, start having the awareness on your judgemental mind. Witness it and recognise it when it arises. Do not surrender your scarcity, loneliness and disappointment so quickly.
Take one slow conscious breathing and do the following practice:
1/ Breathing in, let the air brings all your feeling pass through your nose, your heart and all the way down to your belly
2/ Breathing out, slowly release the air and allow yourself to digest, go through the same feeling once again and go deeper
3/ Consciously relax your face, jaw, shoulder, neck and back with every breath. Allow yourself to have the openness, set back and be vulnerable and observe what is happening inside your heart
4/ Start feeling what is the emotions happening inside you. Try giving this emotion a name, describe it, communicate with it by feeling it. Use your breath to help focusing on how you feel, and feel a little bit more.
It might be hurt and painful. Take another deep breath in to hold it. Let it cut more deeply. Do not run away or do anything to avoid it. Slowly and surely, say this to your emotions:
“I feel the anger (change to the emotion you are having in the moment) inside me now. I am not this anger. It is only part of me.”
“I choose to see you with love. It’s okay I feel like this. I accept myself fully and completely.”
“Thanks for coming into my life again. I breathe into you and release you with love.”
Keep repeating this in your heart, feeling it but not saying it. Feel how you feel when you allow yourself to really accept, feel how you become when you truly surrender and just be. In the moment you welcome in this vulnerability, you back into your true identity. This is where you experience contentment, calmness and unconditional love. Honour your experience in it wherever you are at, always come back to practice it again and connect better with yourself every time.
There are no positive or negative emotions. Every emotion is a gift, a doorway allows us to experience joy and happiness. See your judgement in a completely new perspective from now on. Every time you want to judge again, reminds yourself this is the perfect chance to have some emotional dessert from within. Smile and breathe through it, let me know anytime if you need supports.