Judgement, one of the top behaviour we need to release if we really want to live a free, happy and stress-free life.
What is judgement?
Judgement is more than a sentence or criticism. When we judge, we become sentimental. It is a protection of us from things we do not like or agreed, especially from those trigger our wounds which immediately lower our energy.
‘I’m just not good enough.’
We judge others to protect our self-esteems. Ironically, we judge ourselves even more. We want to be a better version us, beyond all the high expeditions on ourselves we are actually avoiding to feel the pain, fear and resentment of ourselves on ‘not being good enough’.
‘What an idiot!’
‘I can’t believe you do this again!’
‘Can’t you use your brain?’
‘No, you can’t do this.’
‘Why you just can’t be as good as him?’
‘I’m so disappointed on you.’
‘You deserve this.’
‘Gosh.. you’re such a hypocrite!’
3 strategies to set your mind free
There are 90,000 thoughts a day in our mind. How much you occupied it by self-judgement like the above examples? Most of us got the answer more than 50%. Isn’t it tiring on not just to judge but also being judged by yourself?
Set yourself free from this never ending battle, here are the strategies:
1/ Breathe into the wound
Behind every judgement, there is a core wound on how we believe in ourselves, which make us feel angry, upset, disappointed, annoyed, shame and more. Before judging yourself, be conscious and take a slow deep breath. Breathe into whatever emotion rises up, allow it, unfold it with a non-verbal conversation. A conversation with your heart, focus only on how you feel. Only when we back to how we feel, we stop the unnecessary debate with our mind and truly solve the problem by looking into the root cause inside us.
2/ You are not who you judge
Judgement is a shadow of our guilt and shame. It just like a parent-child relationship. We feel guilty on what we have done like a kid, at the same time we are shamed on ourselves and cannot wait to judge ourselves like a parent. When this moment came again, bring up this thought ‘what if I’m completely wrong?’ Remind both side of the voice that you can be all wrong. Understand whatever happened, it does not define who you are, that is just a part of you. Choose to release the ‘self’, see yourself as another person. Be compassionate with the voice of the parent as well as the kid inside you. Knowing that there is no right or wrong and no one needs to be blamed.
3/ Accept where you are at
We judge ourselves only for one reason, love. Every time we judge, our soul is calling for love towards us. Only if we see and heal the part hasn’t been healed, we release this insane behaviour which try to separate us from true love. Accept wherever you are at now, forgive the you in the past even if it is just one second ago. Once you choose to let go of your story, universe gives you power to rewrite a new and better one. Shift your focus to acceptance instead of self-attack, see it as the valuable guidance that always directs you back to love.
We all deserve the freedom of a non-judgemental mind. When it comes, allow it and practice the above. Be patient and faithful that release is on the way once you choose to see it though the lens of love.
Self-judgement, self-defeating behaviour are part of the topic we cover up in my life coaching programme. How to celebrate the mistake and shift them into miracles? How to go easy and stay committed to the above practice? You never need to walk alone.