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Don’t say sorry if you don’t mean it

Apologies are beautiful. They’re the symbol of humbleness, respect, politeness and forgiveness. But when you’re overdoing it, it reflects something different from inside. Say sorry only when you feel it

The real purpose of saying sorry is not comforting or pleasing others. People who are receiving can always sense your authenticity if you do not truly mean it. When you are over using it, either you would continue numbing your feeling and get lost in the dark hole of suppressive emotions, or you would give people a feel of fake instead of humbleness.


What is a real sorry?

A real and authentic "sorry" would never play small or blame oneself. It is about true acceptance from both side, yourself and others. You are realising something you did may offend others, you are willing to be open and ask for forgiveness. At the same time, you forgive yourself in this serenity.

It is a self love practice. You gain the courage asking others to forgive you at the same time cultivate compassion towards yourself. You would feel totally okay even if the receiver refuses to take your apology because you have already made your move on baring your own responsibility.

It is a bridge of human connection. When you be truly vulnerable and express apologies genuinely, it opens the heart of others. That is where real conversations, true feeling and connections start flowing in the air. Maybe the story behind is never something you thought, maybe you would open up a new perspective towards the same situation.

a real sorry can bridge the gap between people and bring authentic connections

We all might be addicted on saying sorry

Many of us feel challenging on speaking our truth. We are fear of being judge or enlarging the outcome of “doing-wrong”. Strategically, our mind sometimes would use apology as a shelter to protect ourselves.

Sometimes, "sorry" is slipped out of your mouth maybe because you are scared to hurt other’s feeling, at the end you become a people pleaser even if you do not enjoy it at all.

Sometimes, this "sorry" addiction also reflects the emptiness and lack of love inside. Subconsciously you want more love and try to seek it from the outside world. With the absence of confidence, the expression is twisted into a living dead apology.

fake apology is a sign of lacking of love or wanting to please others

Magic of replacing “Sorry” to “Thank You”

So how to improve one's self esteem and get rid of this drama of being not good enough? Simply practice by replacing “Sorry” with another beautiful word “thank you”.

Say “thank you” to what is happening now. Be grateful even if you got stuck or realised you are in this addiction of trauma again. Treat them as an opportunity to grow, and be a better you, say “thank you” to universe on reminding you and leading you become a better person again.

Say “thank you” to yourself. Appreciate your original intention on every apology of caring the relationships around you, appreciate your compassion and love towards others and bring it inward to have compassion on yourself. Being able to honour and be truly grateful on yourself opens the heart and feel the love you deserve. Realise this love you always seeking for is never came from the people or situations outside but only from within.

artist: Isabel Bryna, sacred butterfly

Always be patient in this practice. Trust you are perfectly at where you are and unfolding a new miracle in life. Be the butterfly in that silkworm cocoon, honour your transformational process with love by saying “thank you” again on owning the time and peace in it.

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