Mindfulness is about how conscious we connect with our feelings. Many people relate mindfulness to meditation, yoga or new age activities. Yet, it’s nothing more than our daily practice. Every breath is our meditation, how we move how we act how we eat matters, every activity we engage with is a consciousness practice and bring us to ultimate inner peace.
I shared about how to eat, breathe or even engage with social media mindfully before. Today, I'd like to talk about how we speak mindfully.
How we communicate directly affect how ourselves and others feel. I'm grateful there're many communication skills courses nowadays teaching people our most basic and very important knowledge.
Very often, we made 2 mistakes when we speak.
Firstly, we are not using the right wordings. Take these 2 sentences as an example, 'you "should" be a vegetarian' or 'you "can" be a vegetarian' already sounds very different, 1st one give people a very pushy feeling while the 2nd one motivate people to be a vegetarian. Try to replace words with low vibrations like "should", "maybe", "think", "try" to high vibrations one like "can", "worth to", "commit", "choose" "believe" etc can instantly influence how people receive.
Secondly, we are speaking with disturbing emotions. If you speak the same sentence 'you can be a vegetarian' with sincere heart is completely different if you speak it with a very straight and judgemental mind. How people get what you speak in the end is never about the content but what kind of energy you are sending over to them. Be aware of your emotions when you speak, even before you speak. This is all related to what is your pure intention behind that speech, do you want to be right? or do you really want them to feel good? Very different.
Mind your speech, it's all about energy exchange.
Even before you start speaking, you are already generating a vibration carrying that energy in your mind. If it does not serve our highest good, it can turn out as a disaster. Because what ever we put out, it is an initiation to universe what we want to receive. Our ego is good at lead us to put out a low frequency energy in our daily speech, to manifest a life full of suffering in return which we are not even conscious to it.
Start simple by being mindful on how you speak is a good practice directs you to inner peace. To speak mindfully, Rumi the greatest Sufi mystic and poet, taught us to check 3 things before you speak.
1/ Is it necessary?
What is the pure and original intention you speak this? what do you want to project onward? what do you want to express? If this intention if it is about 'we' or only 'me'.do not speak. Check consciously if you want to be seen, heard, show off, or sincerely want to create good connection and ignite inspiration.
Pause in silence and check if it is a need to speak "now". Are people in a receiving mode? Are you the right person to speak that? Can you trust even if you do not speak he/ she can make it through themselves? Check if the timing is right by feeling from your heart, if it is meant to be you will feel at ease instead of other kind of unnecessary emotions that forcing thing happens which they are not supposed to be.
Go with the flow to speak. It is an attitude of trust without feeling lack, you can speak and not speak in this flow. Trust and know every words is sacred, be commit to put out only positive vibe. If not, rest, relax in silence and simply breathe.
2/ Is it kind?
If it is a need for you to voice out, check what kind of vibration you are carrying from your heart? Only speak when you are carrying those with highest frequency which is love, kindness, gratitude, joy, peace and acceptance.
If you are generating a feeling of judgement, pride, anger, desire, fear, grief, guilt or shame, please stop and delay your speech until you feel less contracted but able to expand into a higher consciousness again.
Love is the only language, always speak from your heart with compassion. Accept whatever has happened and be opened to allow whatever answer you are going to receive. Honour every conversation at different time and space with different people, because every sentence is an opportunity for you to create the reality you love.
3/ Is it true?
Even it is necessary and it is kind, it might not be true. Does it align with what you believe? Do you really mean it or simply want to be kind to avoid unnecessary scenarios or wish someone to feel good? Is it a polite lie?
We never need to please others to speak, this would only make things complicated on both reality and energetic level which we are creating delusion and back to the mind game of ego which only brings suffering at the end.
Speak only from your soul, honour your truth. Be honest to yourself, be gentle and kind to yourself that only speak when you respect yourself fully. To give love to others, we need to learn how to receive love completely towards ourselves.
After checking in the above 3, you might found 90% or above situations you do need to speak. Be mindful, only speak right. It is completely fine to speak nothing. "Dead air" does not exist if you feel right. Hold the space and practice feeling the peace in this silence, it is a space that you are creating to allow everything to be unfold perfectly.
Embrace the speechless speech and simply smile and breathe.