What to do with disturbing emotions?
Emotion is setting the mind in motion.
When we engage with it, we “think” it would bring us joy and happiness. But we never “think” or we are trying to avoid the truth that this happiness never last and they are not real.
For example, we crave that chocolate cake because we “think” it makes us happy. Physically, it is correct that chocolate is releasing the happy hormones, serotonin and dopamine and generating a feel good feeling, but all these are also came from our mental projection at the end. We crave for instant, quick yet temporary pleasure mentally and emotionally, because we know it is easy to get.
In this process of pursuing instant pleasure, we suffer by different disturbing emotions. We never feel enough, we crave and grasp on things we like. We are afraid to lose or miss anything. We create and welcome different emotions like jealousy, doubt, fear, anxiety, disappointment, anger towards ourselves.
Our body is stressed. Our mind is anxious. Our heart is closed.
We keep feeding these disturbing emotions by hanging on to old wounds, hurts, resentments, fights and guilt. We are carrying such a low frequency that causes physical, mental and emotional sickness. We are creating our own sufferings.
Stop and do nothing.
There are many ways to deal with disturbing emotions. One and very important thing to start with is, aware of the emotion arises in front of you. Stop and do nothing. Only if we choose not to engage with them, they would dissolve, transform and go away. Nothing left but a peace of mind.
In the moment your emotions come, where ever you are at. Pause and stop, put everything down that you are doing, sit on the chair in stillness, or stop and stand at the corner of the street, metro, park etc. Do nothing but only following these 3 things below.
1. Do not force
The tighter you hang on to the emotions, the more resistance you are creating. Simply watch what is happening inside you, breathe into your heart and feel. Whatever comes up, you are safe and have courage to feel it without forcing. Relax in every breath you inhaling and exhaling, be patient.
2. Do not reject
Every heaviness is the root of lightness, it is possible we appreciate and embrace every disturbing emotions. They come and bring us this chance of heaviness, so we can transform our mind, and truly feel the lighter and happier mind in freedom again. Accept the emotion in stillness, do nothing but releasing the need to get rid of it. It is okay you see them here with you, continue to observe without rejecting them.
3. Do not react
Stillness is the master of joy. It is completely and totally fine that you are doing nothing. Be kind to yourself and let yourself know, “I can wait. It’s okay”. Rest in the silence. Let go of the need to follow the same old pattern to engage or “play" with these emotions. It is okay if you hear your ego scream, it is okay if you feel the emotions is dancing vigorously, it is okay to not to react and run away this time.
"Easy is right”- Lao Tzu
You are not the objects of disturbing emotional experience, but the silent observer within the experience itself. In stillness, we let go, move on and be free without doing anything.
Keep practicing is all we need. In every process, you might feel huge resistance because your ego is fear for letting go of all the attachments on the instant happiness and excitement. It might distract you in whatever possible and tell you that “don’t do nothing, it is stupid, we need to run away from these emotions because we don’t like it” because it is afraid of even sitting down and doing nothing.
Have confident you deserve the ultimate happiness, have courage to be in silence and accept everything just as it is. If you need a mindfulness coach to support you in this journey, I am happy to be here keeping you accountable.
Many blessings and love.