How often do you fall deep in love with someone? When you are in this love, how certain do you know it is real?
In romance, friendship, soulmate, family or other form of love relationship, it is too often we fall into the blind spot and “think” we met the true love but it is not. How can we be conscious and know if our love is real? These are the 3 check-in.
1. It is never about you
“I love you if you do the things I love with me”
“I love you if you understand how I feel”
“I love you if you give me the surprise like no others”
“I love you if you love me first”
Most of the time, we do not notice we are loving someone in conditions. We love someone because they are doing something we like. One day if they fail doing so, disappointment, anger, anxiety arise. Real love is not base on self-interest nor the statement “I love you if...”. You are willing to give the love without expectation, without the desire of anything in return.
Imagine how a mom breast feed and raise her new born baby, it is all based on unconditional love. Animals are like this, human is the same, the strong bonding are carrying condition is born within us. It is never about you because we love to celebrate life between 2 interconnected souls. We love someone purely because he/ she exists.
2. Checklist doesn’t exist
It is possible to manifest someone you like and base on your “checklist” when you are in full alignment with universe. But sometime you may discover the one you attracted, who got everything checked on your list, is not someone you truly love.
Why?! Because we are attracting this love base on attachments.
We attached to the external qualities, desire from ourselves and from society. Once this list no longer serve you, we get into a sense of lack and insecurity. We question, judge, feel miserable and lost like a running deer in the dark.
Let go of the “should” or “should not”. Pure love does not need a reason. Your heart can feel it. If you manifest truly from this feeling, there is only peace, rightness and harmony. Falling onto your checklist or not? It really does not matter.
3. It is okay to let it go
Real love requires pure compassion. A full understanding of everyone of us suffers and everyone of us wants simple happiness. If we are carrying this attribute, it is okay to let this person goes even if you love him/ her so much.
You might ask why do you need to let someone go if you are in deep love?
Maybe it is a toxic relationship that you know he/ she does not truly love you but you choose ignorance and blindfold yourself.
Maybe it is a relationship that no longer serves you, people change due to environments and situations they encounter change. It is not easy for us to accept this which we keep expecting everything stays like the same as it supposed to be.
Maybe it is a circumstance we cannot control, most extreme one could be death. We miss the past and worry about our future. We are living in a tragic story we created, grasping on the believe “how am I gonna live without you?”
Whatever scenario it is, we suffer. Because it is base on self-interest, worthlessness and seeking to be seen. To be free from this suffering, we need to cultivate real love from within. It is okay to let someone goes if it is the best scenario for them.
In real love, you know the person you love always and only deserve the best person or scenario in their life. If you really love them unconditionally, you are willing to release the control and let them go with a genuine blessing from your heart. It could be a painful process, but at least you are willing to do it with love and you do not suffer.
It might take us a long journey to find or experience what real love is. Where ever you are at, my wish to you is to be courageous to stay in this game. Trust everyone you encounter in life is a guru directing you to the best love you deserve. Have faith in this journey, have more faith in the moment your soul ask you to let go.
Every bird needs to let go of the fear of falling before they can fly high and reach the sky.
May we all learn from them and believe there is always a better and more beautiful view waiting for us if we choose real love.